(Can't remember what show this was, but yeah, enjoying being with friends)
Well, as you may have guessed from that long title, I really miss the club, going out and dancing, going to shows/concerts all that kind of shit! I miss the connected nature of being in one place to socialize and celebrate with friends, to have debates and discussions, and even being able to really show our friends our love for them, by giving them a hug, a pat on the shoulder, a handshake... all that kind of shit. I have been connecting with friends via video chat and such like that, I've also participated in live streaming Goth/Industrial DJ events, even watched live stream performance stuff too... but even though we can still connect that way, it's not the same as being present, being able to physically give someone a hug, being able to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, or even someone new to the scene... I love the culture, of being able to go to a club or show, and being able to converse, celebrate, debate, dance, watch bands perform, all that kind of shit. I love being with like-minded people, or people of my kind, I love the community... even when not knowing someone, realizing that they are there, and they are a part of the same community, even though their participation in events and shows may not be the same as another person, just the fact that they are there... they show their support for the community/scene, and their similar interest. I miss the solace of hearing loud music, being able to dance, and being with my people! I know I've mentioned this in an Instagram post I made within the last week and a half or so, but I know some of you folks that follow this blog don't follow Twitch on Instagram, so I figured I would kind of post those thoughts here as well, and kind of expand on them.
The one thing about humanity is our social nature, as a human in order to survive, we need to communicate, we need to be connected to others... whether that was talking, or showing each other physical affection. Some people can go for a long time isolated, others not so... I know for myself, I don't do very well with lack of social contact, I suffer a lot mentally, when I can't connect with friends socially and physically connecting. I am an extrovert... so self-isolation is very tough for me, but even that being the case, I've dealt with isolation, and kind of being forced into isolation for a very long time... at least the last 20 years or so. Obviously, I haven't been isolated for that entire time span, but there have been stints of spending a month or month and a half, not talking to anyone (including family), outside of going to the grocery store and chatting very quickly with the cashier or whatever (but that really isn't socialization, that is a transaction, and them making sure I got everything I needed on my list)...
...I will say this time around, it's not as bad as I initially thought this whole self-isolation thing was going to be... yes, it sucks, but being that I have spent a lot of time kind of being forced into isolation... I feel that I'm so used to it now, that it's not such a big deal... now that I look at this whole situation, and my past issues with being forced into isolation... if I wasn't forced into isolation, my first album wouldn't have been written... and the albums after, would not have been written either... when my second album "We Are Here To Dance!" was being written, before I really started to hunker down and work on it... I ended up getting into trouble mentally... but after I started to deal with the mental side... I realized that I needed to work on my music, so in order to cope, I picked a day a week that I would specifically work on music, no matter how I felt (happens to be every Saturday... still is too)! That really helped...
(Friday The 13th, May BLACKOUT! Show)
...Eventually, I would run into more mental health trouble while working on "TCP/IP" and it wasn't so much the writing part that I wasn't focusing on... I was spending every Saturday working on it, but I started to realize that it was time to start working on doing live shows (I hadn't done one yet, and I realized it was something that I have to do)... eventually I did my first live show, and that helped mentally... I actually found inspiration for the album after that, "Welcome"! Of course... before I released "Welcome", I ended up running into mental health problems again... but this time, I eventually realized that I need to be consistent in live shows... I hadn't done another one, since that first one in 2004 for "TCP/IP"... I also held off on finishing "Welcome" cause I was on the search for a guitarist for writing purposes to help me finish the album, and also help out in the live show department, but I could not find one (and there were a lot of flakes... [talk the talk, but don't walk the walk]), then after having a conversation with an old friend and guitarist who did guitars on Twitch's first "Self-Titled" release (1999), and them taking a listen to the album, they figured that there was nothing that was needed on the album... long story short, I did all the guitars myself... and that was enough for the album. So, I eventually released "Welcome" after that friend suggested what was on the album was enough... and with me holding on to this idea that I wanted to perform live, and do it consistently, cause I realized that that was a necessity for me (to stay mentally healthy), as well as consistently writing music... I eventually found people who wanted to be a part of Twitch's live show, and it was 2012 that I eventually ended up starting to play live more consistently... and ever since then, I realized these are things that, well... I have to do in order to maintain my mental health... all of this was born out of isolation. If the forced isolation hadn't happened, I wouldn't have realized any of this...
(Standalone at Terminus)
...So, that brings me back full circle, we as a human species will have to get through this, obviously our normal will look different, but at some point we are gonna need to reconnect... our connection to others comes from being present with others in the same room... but I will also say, I am doing fairly well mentally right now, through all the years, I am realizing, this has been a theme, throughout my life, and I guess, even though it's kind of shitty, I'm getting used to being isolated, even though I'm extroverted... generally good things have eventually come out of the forced isolation (although, it has usually been from a spout of not being healthy mentally, and then eventually realizing there are certain things I need to do, in order to cope and be mentally healthy), aaand I've got alternatives for now, for what I can do to mitigate that isolated feeling... regarding doing shows, and doing music related, or music things, as well as all the other creative shit that I do!
So, yeah... I'm missing the community, I'm missing my friends, I miss the physical connection, I miss the hugs, handshakes, pats on the back, the conversations, the dancing, the live shows... all of it... and I do think it is important, that after this gets sorted out, we throw a party, a very big, let the fuckin city/country/world/universe know that any and every fuckin obstacle will be overcome party! Cause I will need it, and you need it, and they need it, we all fuckin need it!! We need to celebrate, and we need to reconnect!
Your Canadian Goth / Rivethead,
Shayne "Daemon_w60" Lawrence / Twitch
P.S.: We are having a "Self-Isolation Living Room Dance Party" Live Stream performance on our Twitch Facebook page here on Thursday, April 16th / 2020 at 7pm! I would love it if we could connect there, until this shit gets sorted!
Here's the event page for details!
Love ya!!
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